10 Ways to Hack Each Love Language

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Relationships can be interesting, especially when you have different love languages.  For those of you unaware – a love language is simply the way that we perceive love.  Different people have different love languages work better for them.  For example, words of affirmation and physical touch may work best for you while your partner prefers gifts and quality time.

Finding the most effective way to make your spouse feel appreciated is very useful and it’s also important to keep in mind as your relationship develops.

Down below I created a list of of 10 ideas you can try for each of the 5 love languages. So read through them and see which ones make your spouse feel the most appreciated and loved.

If you’d like to get the book, here’s a link to The 5 Love Languages here.

Words of Affirmation

1. Tell your spouse she’s attractive
2. Compliment your spouse on the things he does well.
3. When your spouse does something wrong – affirm him or her and make sure that you emphasize in that moment that what they do right is more important than what they’ve done wrong.
4. Compliment his or her personality.
5. Tell your spouse that you appreciate his abilities.
6. Let her know that you support her in what she’s doing.
7. Say, “I love you.”
8. Let him know you’re proud of him.
9. Let her know that being with her makes you feel like you’ve won.
10. Thank him or her for what she does.

Bonus: While this embarrasses some, others thrive on getting compliments in front of other people.  If your partner enjoys this, then do it.

Acts of Service

1. Wash your spouse’s car.
2. Do her household chores
3. Decimate the honey-do list.
4. Hold the door for her when entering the car or a building.
5. Make a fun or romantic meal.  People instantly think of candlelit dinners but breakfast in bed works just as well.  Have fun with it and put some creativity into the presentation.  If your spouse is a foodie then try out one of our recipes.
6. Think of ways you could possibly help your other half with his or her goals.
7. Do the dishes.
8. Fill the car up with gas.
9. Encourage your spouse to move towards her dreams if she doesn’t know how to take the first step.
10. Get up early and make her coffee and doctor it up with sugars and cream the way he or she likes.

Physical Touch

1. Hold her hand when you walk down the street or when in the grocery store, on the subway, anywhere when it comes to your mind.  This also applies at the cinema, playhouse, church or anyplace you know you’re going to be sitting for a long time.
2.  Give your spouse a backrub or a foot or scalp massage.
3. When eating, put your leg under the table in a way that it touches his or hers.
4.  Give your spouse a hug.
5.  Hold your spouse when he or she gets home after a stressful day at work.
6. Gently stroke your partner’s hair or face.
7. Nuzzle his or her shoulder sometime when you’re alone.
8.  Kiss her!
9. Watch a movie and spoon.
10. Put your hand on his leg while he’s driving.  This is a great way to feel connected during longer road trips.

Gifts

1. Bring her flowers.
2. The next time you’re at the mall together, stop by the fragrances section and pick out some cologne or perfume for your partner.    
3. Listen to what your spouse says he or she wants and make it happen.  It can be fun to play with presentation on this one.  You can have it waiting for her on the table when she gets home, on the bedside table when she wakes up, or bring it with you on a date.
4. Buy your spouse something sweet or some snack that you know he or she likes.
5. Gift your spouse something and don’t wait for a birthday or a holiday.  Make it happen now because he or she’s special, don’t wait for the day to be special.
6. Make something for your spouse that he’ll use everyday.  These don’t have to be expensive or complex to be meaningful.  Grace makes me doodles with the same adorable character.  
7. Buy her that thing that she really wants or needs for that hobby of hers to take it to the next level.
8. Pick up your spouse’s favorite snack on the way home from work.
9. Buy him that book from that author he’s been geeking out about.
10. Add to his or her collection.  If you hear your partner talk about something they’d like to start collecting, help them start!  If you hear about something they’d like to add to their collection.  Make it happen!  It’s amazing how even the most niche things can be found online with a bit of persistence!

Quality Time

1. Surprise her with a romantic day trip or getaway.
2. Talk with your partner about whatever is important to him or her.
3. Spend an afternoon doing whatever he or she thinks is fun just for the heck of it.
4. Go to a festival or a community event together.
5. Go for a drive together with no destination in mind.  Just chat and see where you end up.
6. Check out that restaurant you two have always been wanting to try out.
7. Take a class together and learn to dance, cook, or do something else together.
8. Do an unplugged weekend or date night.  Literally get rid of your phones, tablets, and laptops for the duration and just talk.
9. Take a walk together.
10. Make it a point to just talk even if there’s nothing important to talk about. `

BONUS: You can often find special and cool things to do by looking at places where community events are listed.

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Whatever your partner’s love language, these tips are sure to be a helpful starting point.  Be sure to experiment and conversate, see what they like!

Also, let us know what your favorite way to make your partner feel appreciated is in the comments.

Once again, if you’d like to get the book, you can get The 5 Love Languages here.