7 Habits of Couples Who Are (Actually) in a Happy Relationship

If you’ve ever looked at the happy couples (or friends) in your life and wondered how they do it, then you’re definitely not alone.

Emotional connection, when done right, is one of the most fulfilling things we can have.

And whether you’re single or in a relationship, have friends or are alone, these tips can help you build and strengthen connections with the most important people in your life.

Side Note: It’s gonna be a lot of work to build healthy relationships, but just know that it’s worth it!

1. Make What’s Important to Them, Important to You

Be an intentional listener for what really gets your friend or partner excited. Listen for their tone in voice changing, or how often they talk about a specific topic.

Then make what’s important to them, important to you.

Figure out how you can help them get to that dream (big or small), or get rid of that problem that’s been stressing them out.

2. Listen (It’s Not a Competition)

Next time you’re in an argument, don’t waste your time planning on what to say next.

This is not a debate with a winner and a loser: if you don’t listen, everyone loses.

And if the conversation is too heated, then take a moment to calm yourself and remind yourself of your true priorities. What’s really important to you? That you win this argument? Or that you’re able to work things out and be closer afterward?

People in healthy relationships are able to set aside their egos in service of making sure their partner feels understood.

3. Are You Giving As Much As Them?

I’m not saying you’re not, but I do think it’s important to bring it up just in case.

Think about all the different ways they give to you. Be intentional and observational. Are they really good at hearing your desires and needs and taking care of them?

If they are, then ask yourself this, “Am I giving as much as them?”

If so, then great!

But if not, how can you step it up and make them feel just as important as they make you feel?

This is an amazing way people in great relationships stay connected and in love.

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4. Communication & Check-Ins

People in good (romantic and friend) relationships communicate with each other and check in periodically to make sure they still have the same priorities and needs.

They also make sure that nothing is left unsaid.

I you’re not communicating your needs to your partner or friend, then that’s not their fault that they’re not meeting them. It’s up to you to make sure they know.

5. Empathy Mental Exercise

Do a mental exercise by stepping into their shoes.

The saying is famous for a reason. Every argument or misunderstanding has subtext.

In other words, an argument about spending or cleaning habits could actually be standing in for deeper traumas.

When someone reacts strongly to something, it may be because of painful experiences in their past, so always try to understand that you may be missing important information.

Side Note: And talk to them about it! Get to know a deeper part of them and see how you can help them in their healing process or take care of their needs.

6. Speak Their Love Language

As Dr. Gary Chapman explains in his book, The Five Love Languages, everyone gives and receives love differently.

Some people respond best to words of affirmation; others are won by acts of service, receiving gifts, Quality time, or physical touch.

Relationships are always stronger when both people feel appreciated, but this is impossible if neither can speak the language of the other.

So maybe you have been trying to make your partner’s life easier by performing acts of service when all they really want is to be told that you love them.

7. Give Each Other Space

It’s always good to have your own interests and friends apart from your partner.

And likewise, your partner should have hobbies and friends that they enjoy on their own.

Take the time to develop yourself outside of your relationship, and your relationship will only become stronger.