Dad jokes are kind of my favorite type of humor.
They’re perfectly corny, super cheesy, and will always make me laugh (no matter how bad they are).
I don’t care if they make you cringe or groan, I’ll take any quip or funny one-liner when it comes to dad humor. I mean, how is anyone too good for knock knock jokes and puns?
Also, they’re one of the best forms of entertainment whether you want to make friends laugh or get family to roll their eyes.
And while you probably have a lot of people in your life who act annoyed by dad jokes, I think it’s worth storing up on these hilarious ideas. They’re so bad that they’re actually funny which means there’s even more reason for you to save them for later (so you can annoy your friends even more).
Now if you’re a father in training and you wanna level up your punchlines, or you’re just looking for the best dad jokes out there, I’ve got you covered. This list of jokes is going to be exactly what you need.
PS – I’m gonna be staying away from adult jokes and keeping it kid-friendly, so feel free to let your child read it over to keep them entertained!
Fresh Dad Jokes for 2025
- When does a joke become a dad joke? Well, during the delivery it becomes apparent.
- Where do intense people live? In tents
- Hey are those summer cows? [Person asks, “What are summer cows?”]. Well, some are black and some and brown!
- Why did the coffee bean get promoted? It was brewing with potential.
- Why don’t trees like gossip? Because they can’t leaf anything alone.
- [While driving past a graveyard] How many people are dead in there? All of them!
- Why do pastries make terrible friends? They’re always flaking out.
- Wanna hear a joke about the jump rope? Never mind, let’s skip it.
- Why was the wind embarrassed? It blew it in front of everyone.
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Car go. Car go who? Nah man, Owl go who, Car go Beep Beep.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh
Best Dad Jokes
- I’m gonna have to store all these dad jokes in my dad-a-base.
- A man once got served a rabbit stew and said, “excuse me, there is a hare in my stew.”
- When is a door, not a door? When it’s ajar!
- Why do they call Usain Bolt a fruit? Because did you see that Man-go?
- Why did the goose have an easier time crossing the road than the chicken? It could honk!
- How did the hacker escape the FBI? He ransomware!
- Kid: Hey Dad, did you get a haircut? Dad: No, actually I got a bunch of them cut.
- What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!
- Cashier: Do you want the milk in a bag?
Dad: No, the jug is okay. - Why did Winnie the Pooh burn himself taking pizza out of the oven? Because he used his… bear… hands.
- Dad: Oh wow! A train just passed by here. Person: How do you know that? Dad: I see his tracks.
- I found a book that will solve 50% of my problems, so I bought 2!
Short Dad Jokes
- What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
- What is a pig with three eyes? Piiig.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
- What do you call a dead deer with no eyes? Still no eye deer.
- What do you call a man with no torso or nose? Nobody nose.
- *Puts car in reverse* “Ah this takes me back.”
- Were you built upside down? Because your nose runs and your feet smell!
- What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels!
- Just got diagnosed with color blindness. It came totally out of the purple!
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
- What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadador!
- *Opens fortune cookie* Kid: “What’s it say, dad?” Dad:“It says ‘help me! I’m being held captive in a fortune cookie factory!’”
Dad Jokes for Kids
- What does a dentist call his X-Rays? A Tooth Pic!
- I once had a dream I was floating in a sea of orange soda. It was a Fanta sea.
- What do you call a 3 legged donkey? A wonky.
- What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
- Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award? He was out standing in his field!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? The C!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anadda mosquito!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Yetta. Yetta who? Yet annadda mosquito!
- Where do you find a tortoise with no legs? Where you left it.
- What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Close the door I’m dressing!
Corny Dad Jokes
- I have a joke about an invisible train that you will never see coming… And then it hits you.
- You ever hear the joke about that Michael Jackson song? It’s a real thriller.
Okay I admit it. Maybe naming the dog ‘shark’ and taking him to the beach wasn’t my best idea. - I have a joke about a broken pencil.. but it’s pointless.
- What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
- I paid my way through college by working at a bakery. I kneaded the dough.
- Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says “how do you drive this thing?”
- How much did the chimney cost? It was through the roof! Alternate answer: It was on the house.
- Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.
- Kid: Guess what we saw today? Dad: Everything you looked at.
- What do you call a frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe.
- What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
Bad Dad Jokes
- Dad: Want to hear a joke about ghosts? Kid: Yes! Dad: That’s the spirit!
- What do imitation and plateaus have in common? They are both the highest forms of flattery.
- I love jokes about elevators, they work on so many levels!
- Math jokes are great but I calculate most people won’t get it.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? You forgot me already!
- What did the janitor say when they jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Dad: What flies, swims, and is good advice? Kid: What? Dad: Duck! *Throws ball at you*
- I’m going to go change the baby… but only a little because I kind of like the way he is.
- Kid: I feel like a sandwich (or other type of food). Dad: You don’t look like one.
- What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter what you call it, it still won’t come.
Cute Dad Jokes
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny antibodies.
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
- Why do bicycles lay on their side? They are two-tired.
- Maybe a joke about art? Nah, it’s too crafty.
- I knew a farmer that was out standing in his field!
- What do you call an Illegally parked frog? Toad!
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-ticles!
Funny Dad Jokes
- What do you call a rooster staring at a lettuce? Chicken sees a salad!
- Why don’t crabs give to charity? They’re shellfish.
- Last night at dinner I thought I saw my father gag. Turned out it was just another dad choke!
- Why can’t gladiators frown? Because then they’d be Sadiators!
- Dad at breakfast: I’ll have bacon and eggs, please. Waiter: How do you like your eggs? Dad: I don’t know, I haven’t gotten them yet!
- Dad: “Nice shirt, is that felt?” Kid: “No.” Dad: Reaches over and touches sleeve “It is now!”
- Dad: Do your socks have holes in them? Kid: No. Dad: Then how’d you get your feet in them?
- If a child doesn’t want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
- A magician was walking down the street. Then, he turned into a grocery store.
- “Do you have reservations?” Dad, “Yeah, but I think we’ll still eat here.”
Classic Dad Jokes
- *On New Year’s Eve* See you next year!
- You guys wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind…it’s too cheesy.
- Do you want to hear a joke about the wall? Never mind, you’ll never get over it.
- What is the volume of a pizza with a radius of ‘z’ and width of ‘a’? Pizza!
- Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- Where was Mickey Mouse when the lights went out? In the dark.
- What’s the difference between a sharply-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle? Attire!
- I’ve never been a fan of facial hair, but then it grew on me.
- Disney did a survey. Turns out 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.
Clever Dad Jokes
- How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.
- Eating a clock is really time consuming.
- Why shouldn’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything
- Making a belt out of watches is a waist of time
- What did the critic say to the artist after he made a painting of a steak? “It’s a rare medium, well done”
- What do they call the small cans of soda in Minnesota? Minisodas!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Door bell repairman.
- What do you call a fish wearing a necktie? What? SoFISHticated!
- Did you hear about the employee who fell into a vat of gum? His boss came and chewed him out!
- Have you heard of corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines!
Dad Puns
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s ok, he woke up.
- What’s the difference between a pun and a dad joke? Puns aren’t always apparent.
- What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park in it man!
- Why can’t blind people eat fish? It’s sea food.
- Be careful around evergreen trees… they’re always shady.
- Did you know that giraffes can grow up to 18 feet? But usually they only have 4.
- A storm has picked up eggs and milk over the rockies and is now battering the midwest!
- I don’t like elevators, I’m taking steps to avoid them!
One-Liner Dad Jokes
- I have an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.
- Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at!
- Why did the onion join a band? He was a little rap-scallion!
- What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
- Velcro, what a ripoff!
- How many bones are in a hand? A handful!
- What’s got 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When the response is full groan!
- I’ve never trusted stairs, they’re always up to something.
- You know Orion’s Belt? Big waist of space, huh?
Stupid Dad Jokes
- Kid: Dad, I’m full. Dad: Hi full, I’m dad!
- What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!
- What’s Big Ben’s last name? Isabel!
- Do you want to hear a joke about construction? Never mind I’m still working on it.
- What’s yellow and invisible? No bananas.
- Did you know a short psychic just broke out of prison? There’s a small medium at large!
- Why did the produce boat sink? Too many leeks!
- I used to tell dad jokes. Then he told me to stop.
- Kid: Dad, can you make me a sandwich? Dad: Poof! You’re a sandwich.
- They put up those fences around graveyards because people are just dying to get in there!
- A man knocked on the door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool… So I gave him a cup of water!
- Have you heard the one about the magic tractor? It drove down the road and turned into a field.
- A horse and a cow are standing in a field, watching the sunset. A pig comes up to them and asks, “Did you hear about the Farmer’s Daughter?” The horse says, “It’s a talking pig!”
- Thieves broke into a police station and stole all the toilet seats. Police say they have nothing to go on.
- What is a wind turbine’s favorite kind of music? Well I hear they’re huge heavy metal fans!
- Kid: I’m going to jump into the shower! Dad: Well that sounds dangerous!
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool!
Dad Jokes About Animals
- Dad: Look a flock of cows! Kid: You mean a herd of cows dad? Dad: Of course I’ve heard of them, there’s a flock of them right over there!
- What do you call a short sighted dinosaur? A doyouthinkhesaurus
- A weasel walks into a bar…Bartender asks “what’ll you have”. “Pop” goes the weasel!
- Whats the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4, it’d be a chicken sedan!
- What do you call a chicken who can count her eggs? A mathema-chicken!
- What do you call a one legged hippo? A hop-po!
Dad Jokes About Sports
- Do you know why they go backwards off the boat when scuba diving? Cause if they went forwards they would still be in the boat
- What did Mike Tyson say to his girlfriend? You’re ear-isistable!!!
- Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? Because she ran away from the ball
- How much money did it cost for Tom Brady to pierce his ears? A Buck-An-Ear.
- Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team? They needed a little team spirit!
- Did you hear about the priest turned football player who caused them to lose the game? He couldn’t get a conversion.
- How do we know that football referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work!
- Where do footballers go to to buy new uniforms? New Jersey.
- Why don’t the Chicago Bears ever win a playoff game? The post season is when they like to hibernate.
- Why shouldn’t you wear glasses when you play football? Because it’s a contact sport.
Silly Dad Jokes
- I can’t believe monkey bars are allowed on playgrounds. I mean there are kids there… should we really be allowing monkeys to drink in front of children?
- Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
- Why does Norway’s navy boats all have barcodes? So when they come back to port they can just scan-da-navi-an!
- Kid: Hey Dad! Dad: Hay is for horse, I’m a person!
- What do clouds wear beneath their pants? Thunderwear
- What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name
- I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.
Worst Dad Jokes
- Son: Hey dad, can you explain an eclipse? Dad: No son.
- Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible.
- Kid: “I’m hungry.” Dad: “I’m dad, nice to meet you!”
- What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
- Dad: What do you call that curved nut? Person: cashew? Dad: Bless you, but what do you call that curved nut?
- *On a street that passes a cemetery* The phones aren’t going to work soon, we’re coming up to a dead zone!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? RRRRRRR!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? It’s the letter P! Without it, they would be irate!
- Three men walked into a bar… you think the third one would’ve ducked!
- When I was growing up, the only way I could make money was recycling crushed cans. It was SODA pressing!
- Farm dad: “If I don’t see ya in the future, I’ll see ya in the pasture”
- Dad: Someone among us is an owl. Kid: Who? Dad: *Narrows eyes suspiciously*
Grace Moser is the owner and founder of Chasing Foxes, where she writes articles to help women create a life they love in big and small ways. She's been a full-time traveler since 2016 and loves sharing her experiences and exploring the world with her husband, Silas. Her lifestyle and travel advice can also be seen on sites such as Business Insider, Glamour, Newsweek, Huffpost, & Apartment Therapy.