Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance; it requires the commitment of two loving people to grow and then keep growing.
And while it requires plenty of work, having a trusting and positive relationship with your partner will always be worth it.
Now if you’re someone who wants to know how to not break up and the habits you should adopt, then it’s time to take some notes.
Breakups can be so painful, and they don’t happen all at once. It tends to be a gradual process. And whether you’re on the brink of one, or you just want to prevent it from ever getting that far, these habits and steps below will give you some guidance.
You need to make the effort to grow a healthy relationship, strengthen your bonds, and be happy to put the work in. So review this helpful advice to start improving the relationship you currently have (or will have).
1. Always Give Your Full Attention
If you’re trying to learn more on how to prevent a break up and keep a relationship strong, then this one is very important!
Whether your significant other is talking about something important to them or something small that happened to them during the day, always give your fullest attention.
Stay away from being on the phone or multitasking and give them your total focus so they know you respect them.
Think of it this way: How close would you feel to someone if you could tell they weren’t fully there? It’d make you feel like they didn’t really care about you right?
Well healthy couples who don’t break up make sure that their partner feels important by listening to them. It’s a great habit to adopt!
2. Never Stop Flirting
Whether you’ve been married for a long time or dating for 6 months, it doesn’t really matter when it comes to flirting.
Remind the person that you still love them, be playful, and keep pursuing them. Some of the happiest couples out there keep the romance alive and have fun being flirtatious.
It’s a great way to strengthen your bond no matter how many years you’ve been together.
3. Communication
I know that this is a topic that’s discussed quite a bit, but communicating your feelings, thoughts, and needs is so important.
Never take the opportunity to feel like the victim in a relationship if you’re refusing to communicate problems. And never allow a problem to build up over time; always communicate.
Little things can so quickly become big things that can end up destroying a relationship. So if you’re finding yourself annoyed or hurt because of your partner’s actions, it’s time to figure out a kind but straightforward way to talk to them so you can start fixing the problems.
4. Check Up on Their Needs (And Yours Too!)
People in good relationships check in periodically to make sure they still have the same priorities and needs.
Likewise, you need to be checking up on your needs and making sure to communicate about any changes.
If you’re not communicating your needs to your partner, then it’s not their fault if they’re not meeting them.
It’s up to you to make sure that they know.
5. Celebrate Their Wins
Whether it’s a big or small win, always show that you’re on their side and you see what they’re doing.
This could be a raise at work, a new (and incredible) recipe they made last night, or the progress they’re making in taking care of their health.
Show that you’re present in the relationship and that you care about every little and big thing that’s happening in their lives.
6. Focus On the Things You Like About Your Partner
Instead of only focusing on the habits you’re not so crazy about, look at the things they do so well in the relationship.
Or the kind and beautiful things they’ve done for you or said to you.
Think about the things you like about your significant other and especially if you’re in a fight.
It’s a great way to help you remember why you love them and have more grace for them during the harder moments.
7. Figure Out the Core Problem of An Issue
Instead of constantly accusing and fighting over an issue, they think objectively and try to figure out what’s at the core of a problem they’re having.
They ask themselves why a certain bad habit is still around, why they’re still having the same fight, and even what unhealthy beliefs they’re holding onto.
And once they’ve gotten to the root of the problem, they work together to be supportive and overcome the issue.
This really is one of the top things you need to do if you want to make your relationship better (and last).
8. Check-Ins
People in goodd relationships check in periodically to make sure they still have the same priorities and needs.
They also make sure that nothing is left unsaid.
I you’re not communicating your needs to your partner or friend, then that’s not their fault that they’re not meeting them. It’s up to you to make sure they know.
So when learning how to never break up, this piece of advice should never be ignored.
9. Empathy Mental Exercise
Do a mental exercise by stepping into their shoes.
The saying is famous for a reason. Every argument or misunderstanding has subtext.
In other words, an argument about spending or cleaning habits could actually be standing in for deeper traumas.
When someone reacts strongly to something, it may be because of painful experiences in their past, so always try to understand that you may be missing important information.
Side Note: And talk to them about it! Get to know a deeper part of them and see how you can help them in their healing process or take care of their needs.
10. Speak Their Love Language
As Dr. Gary Chapman explains in his book, The Five Love Languages, everyone gives and receives love differently.
Some people respond best to words of affirmation; others are won by acts of service, receiving gifts, Quality time, or physical touch.
Relationships are always stronger when both people feel appreciated, but this is impossible if neither can speak the language of the other.
So maybe you have been trying to make your partner’s life easier by performing acts of service when all they really want is to be told that you love them.
11. Always Forgive
If you want to know how to not break up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband, this is a VERY important thing to remember.
Always forgive and don’t hold onto things from the past.
Think about how you feel when you mess up and someone makes you feel horrible for what you’ve done… and maybe even brings it up 2 years later.
Holding a grudge against them will only weaken your relationship and can cause you to eventually breakup.
So show some grace for them in the way you would want to be shown forgiveness.
12. Make What’s Important to Them Important to You
Everyone wants to be supported in their dreams, and you will be the first person your partner needs when pursuing their goals in life.
So make what’s important to them important to you.
Get excited for making their dreams happen and help them in getting there faster.
It’s all about being their biggest cheerleader and helper in life!
13. Make Sure Your Partner Comes Before Anyone Else
If you’re in a healthy relationship and you know this person is your life partner, then they should always come first.
It doesn’t matter how much you love your mom, dad, brother, sister, or a good friend, your partner should have the safety in knowing that they’re more important than anyone else.
Again, put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if your SO’s parent or their best friend’s opinions or desires were more important than your own?
If you know that you wouldn’t like it yourself, then make sure to never do this to them.
Those other people aren’t the ones you’re gonna be growing old with.
14. Listen During Arguments (It’s Not a Competition)
Next time you’re in an argument, don’t waste your time planning on what to say next.
This is not a debate with a winner and a loser: if you don’t listen, everyone loses.
And if the conversation is too heated, then take a moment to calm yourself and remind yourself of your true priorities. What’s really important to you? That you win this argument? Or that you’re able to work things out and be closer afterward?
People in healthy relationships are able to set aside their egos in service of making sure their partner feels understood.
15. Step Up the Giving
I’m not saying you’re not, but I do think it’s important to bring it up just in case.
Think about all the different ways they give to you. Be intentional and observational. Are they really good at hearing your desires and needs and taking care of them?
If they are, then ask yourself this, “Am I giving as much as them?”
If so, then great!
But if not, how can you step it up and make them feel just as important as they make you feel?
This is an amazing way people in great relationships stay connected and in love.
16. Have Fun Together
Never forget to enjoy each other’s company.
Laugh, goof off, travel, do something enjoyable together, and always be up for the spontaneous.
Your relationship will be SO much more rewarding if you’re also best friends who just love spending time together and having fun.
Genuine love takes a lot of work at times, as well as sacrifice and understanding, but that’s ok! In fact, that’s what makes it so special.
As one wise person once said, “Genuine love is demanding. But its beauty lies precisely in the demands it makes. Only those able to make demands on themselves in the name of love can then demand love from others.” (St John Paul II)
So as we focus on bettering ourselves, let’s be encouraged that this will, in turn, make our own relationships more rewarding and long-lasting.
Have any other thoughts on how not to break up? Feel free to comment below, I’d love to hear from you!
Grace Moser is the author and founder of Chasing Foxes, where she writes articles to help women create a life they love in big and small ways. She's been a full-time traveler since 2016 and loves sharing her experiences and exploring the world with her husband, Silas. Her lifestyle and travel advice can also be seen on sites such as Business Insider, Glamour, Newsweek, Huffpost, & Apartment Therapy.