A 2 minute and 8 second read (according to my pace of reading). Feel free to dispute.
I was standing in my kitchen, making a Basque cheesecake, getting a coffee ready, and admiring the pretty little bowls and items I had on the counter.
I was actually feeling kind of cool. Like I had one of those lives you’d see a pretty magazine person living.
But then it hit me.
What was I doing?
I had this sudden realization. This feeling of living a life I shouldn’t be living.
Like I had made my personality or worth (or whatever you wanna say) wrapped around having this pretty kind of Instagram type of life.
And I’m not saying that having the nice things that make a home feel like a home is bad. It’s really not.
Actually, I think it’s a beautiful thing to wanna have a space of your own and adapt it to what makes you happy.
Your parents were able to do it, they were the ones in control of the home. But now you as an adult get to finally do the same. That’s awesome. 👍
But I will go over something I’m gonna call the Trader Joe’s cafe lifestyle.
Or at least I’ll call it this for the article.
Growing up, my parents really fell in love with the magazine kind of life. They were finding ways to make rooms feel unique and give them personality.
And it followed them outside of the home too.
Example:
- Going into cute local Sonoma coffee shops and getting frothy lattes.
- Staying in pretty hostels near Sausalito.
- Going to Trader Joe’s and getting the specialty (+ tasty) food items.
- Heading over to iris farms in the countryside.
- Or going into cute antique shops in Folsom to get just the right decor piece.
And this was all pre-Instagram. A time before people were gathering followings by showing off their lifestyle.
Now I’m not judging or shaming them. This is what they liked doing; this was their money and life.
But I will judge myself.
This kind of lifestyle took me over.
But here’s the thing. These items weren’t necessarily bad (at all), but I had started to make it my identity and that’s where the problem lies.
It wasn’t the lifestyle or identity I had dreamt of growing up.
And when you or I get our identity out of having just the right moisturizers, bed stands, and handmade rugs, we’re kind of lost.
It’s so important to remember that you really are so much more than having “the pretty things” and you can love yourself and your life so much more than that.
Don’t get so caught up in the items and nice-to-haves that you surround yourself with, and ask yourself this question:
“Beyond all this noise, what is it that I actually want to settle into?”
Because I guarantee you, where you really want to see yourself in 5 years from now isn’t surrounded by more products and pretty eatables.
Those things are just the background notes of your life’s song.
What is it that you’ve kept yourself from doing or having? What is the main chorus that you need to turn the volume up on?
Grace Moser is the owner and founder of Chasing Foxes, where she writes articles to help women create a life they love in big and small ways. She's been a full-time traveler since 2016 and loves sharing her experiences and exploring the world with her husband, Silas. Her lifestyle and travel advice can also be seen on sites such as Business Insider, Glamour, Newsweek, Huffpost, & Apartment Therapy.